Let’s Be Honest… We’re Struggling Finding Balance
By Cambria Root
Here’s the thing…we all struggle, because we’re human beings, and our marriages struggle too. If you ever try to tell me that your marriage doesn't struggle, I will probably laugh in your face. Not to be rude, but because I don't believe that one bit.
I’m going to be totally honest and open. We are struggling right now with finding balance in our chaotic lives. We can’t figure out how to balance work, our little family, extended family, small groups, church, keeping up on our house, making meals, and our dogs. And not just finding balance, but making the right choice in the moment. For instance, do I do the dishes because it needs to get done, or do I lay on the couch because that’s what I feel like doing?
At the beginning of the year, we were excited and had the energy to push forward, but now it feels like there’s not enough time in the day to fit everything in and give each thing the time that it needs. And the biggest point here is, since there’s so many things grabbing at our attention, our marriage isn’t getting the attention that it needs.
So we asked ourselves, “what can we do to fix this?” And here’s our list of things we are going to try to help build some balance in our lives…
(I just want to preface that these are just ideas we had that we are going to try. We don’t know if one, or even any of them will work, and we are not going to do all of them at once.)
1. Make sure to fit in intentional rest/down time
We tend to fill our schedules to the max and push ourselves to get everything done. Not that this is necessarily bad, but we don’t leave any time to rest and recover. If a car doesn’t stop to refuel, it will eventually run out of gas and it’s not even possible for it to continue running until it gets filled up. We, as humans, are the same way. But something we’ve discovered over the last few years is just sitting on the couch watching TV doesn’t fill our tanks much. I’m not saying TV is bad. We really enjoy sitting and watching a movie or show together sometimes, but when we rely on that “TV Time” every night to refill us, we end up being disappointed. So we want to try to be more intentional with our down time and play a game, read, or just talk instead.
2. Get up earlier and go to bed earlier
We consistently go to bed between 11:00 and 11:30 and wake up around 9. We also have a lot of evening activities, so by the time we get up, eat breakfast and are ready for the day, it feels like half of our day is already gone. So, something we are going to try is going to bed a bit earlier (we’re aiming for around 10) and waking up earlier (we’re going to start by aiming for 7:30). That will hopefully help make us feel like we have a bit more time in our day.
3. Dividing up our work tasks and getting ahead
Even though we work together, there’s still several things that we don’t do together and those tasks don't always line up. So when one of us isn’t home, we find it hard to work since so much of our work is done together. We are going to try to divide up our work tasks, so we can still function independently. We also need to get more ahead so we’ll have a list of tasks we know can get done.
4. Picking clothes out the night before
I know this seems like a really small idea, but it feels like a waste of time to pick out my clothes in the morning. When I get out of bed, I’m usually very cold and don’t want to spend the time standing around, trying to decide what I want to wear for the day. So, I instead put on something like sweats and a hoodie, and later need to change again to feel more put together for the day. I think picking out my clothes the night before, so I don’t have to think about it in the morning, can eliminate all the extra time I waste in the morning to change into my different outfits.
5. Have dishes done before going to bed
We’ve realized that having a clean house to wake up to in the morning reduces our stress levels significantly. Dishes are something that tends to pile up in our household, and then it becomes a really big task to tackle when it comes time to clean them. So, our idea is if we can have the dishes done every night before we go to bed, then we’ll feel better in the morning and we’ll be able to stay more on top of it.
6. More Jesus dates
I recently saw someone on TikTok who said, “This may be controversial, but you don’t need me time.” I was very confused by this at first because I always thought that the way to fill up my introverted tank was more “me time.” But then she continued by saying, “you need Jesus time.” Let me say that again… YOU DON’T NEED ME TIME, YOU NEED JESUS TIME. And she actually referred to her “Jesus time” as “going on a date with Jesus.” I have realized over the past few months that I feel the most filled up after I spend time behind a closed door, just me and God. I can then more easily block out distractions and just be in his presence. Of all the different ways I’ve tried to fill myself in my “me time,” this tactic has by far worked the best.
Maybe some of these points are things you want to try to add more balance into your life, or maybe none of them appeal to you at all, but these are just a few ideas that we want to try to incorporate into our lives.
